Smart Answers

Stupid Questions with Smart Answers

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.


GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...


GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??


GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.


GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??


BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: Oh yeah?How soon??


BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??


SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his
mouth.


WOMAN: You remind me of the sea.
MAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
WOMAN: NO, because you make me sick.


WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of
the other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.


MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think,
Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.


Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"
Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I check ed the whole list again yesterday".


Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".


Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil: "A teacher".


Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer: "What other colors do you have?"


Asked how old his dad is, a boy replied: My father is so old that
when he was in school, history was called current affairs.


Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!"
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: "She's a woman".


Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance repeated".


Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student: "Brotherly love".


Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".


Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering, doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".


Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."


Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him?"
One Student: "Because George still had the axe in is hand."