By Linda Pressly
BBC Radio 4's Crossing Continents
Abandoning Islam for Christianity is such a sensitive issue in Malaysia
that many converts find themselves leading a secret, double life.
Malay-Muslims make up 60% of the country's population
"If people know that I've converted to Christianity, they might take the
law into their own hands. If they are not broadminded, they might take a
stone and throw it at me."
Maria - not her real name - is a young Malaysian woman who has lived a
secret and sometimes fearful life since she converted from Islam to
Christianity.
Apostasy, as it is known, has become one of the most controversial
issues in Malaysia today.
Maria became a Christian over a decade ago when she was 18. She says
no-one forced her to convert, that she made the decision after studying
different religious texts.
If my family find out I am no longer a Muslim they will
completely cut me off
Maria
Conversion is deemed so sensitive in Malaysia that even the priest who
baptised her refused to give her a baptismal certificate.
And, even now, the church she attends asked her to sign a declaration
stating the church is not responsible for her
conversion.
"My church says if the authorities come, they are not going to stand up
for me. I have to stand up for myself," she said.
Not even Maria's family know she has converted.
"If my family find out I am no longer a Muslim they will completely cut
me off. That means my name in the family will be erased.
"I could migrate, but the problem is I want to stay in Malaysia, because
this is my country. And I love my family. I just want to live peacefully."
Heated debate
Malay-Muslims make up 60% of Malaysia's population. The rest are mostly
Christians, Hindus and Buddhists.
But many Malaysian Muslims believe that people like Maria pose a threat
to Islam.
And the debate between those who say Maria should have the right to
officially convert, and those who are against apostasy has become so
heated that the prime minister has asked both sides not to discuss
sensitive religious questions in public.
If the authorities find out, I will be in big trouble
Maria
Fearful of what could happen, Maria would only talk to us on the phone
from the privacy of her car.
She is very aware of the possible consequences of her
decision to become a Christian if she is discovered.
"If the authorities find out, I will be in big trouble. They will create
hell between me and my family, and hell in my life so that I will no
longer get any privileges or employment."
Her fears are not unfounded. Another convert - Lina Joy - has been
forced to go into hiding since her case went to court.
And at least one of the lawyers involved in that case has had a death
threat against him.
Apostasy order
An apostasy order has to be granted for docmentation to
change
Both Lina
Joy and Maria want to make their conversion legal.
That means changing the identity cards that state they are Muslim.
Until now, the state has refused to do this until an apostasy order is
granted from the Sharia court.
But both women claim they are no longer Muslim, so why should they go to
the Sharia court?
For Maria there is a lot at stake. She has a boyfriend who is also a
Christian and knows she is too.
The couple want to get married. But while Maria is still officially a
Muslim, the only way they could wed in Malaysia would be if he converted
to Islam.
And Maria's family - unhappy with her choice of partner - are pressuring
him to do just that.
Crucial time
Maria is tired of living a double life.
"It's very frustrating, " she tells us tearfully. "It means I have to
limit my scope with friends.
"I have to be able to
completely trust someone before I dare to reveal myself.
"I know some other secret converts, but I never keep in touch with them.
"I can't let my network widen, because you don't always know who you are
dealing with."
I feel that I am all alone in this struggle
Maria
Only a tiny number of people have converted from Islam in Malaysia.
But the coming
months will be crucial for them because a decision is expected in the
case of Lina Joy.
The outcome of that case may well determine whether Maria will be able
to live the life she dreams of - to be married to her boyfriend and live
openly as a Christian.
Right now she can't imagine it.
"I feel that I am all alone in this struggle," she says, "and I am
frightened because I am alone against the odds."
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